Do I want more?

As I was sitting here this afternoon watching some episodes of Ugly Betty, I was thinking of my career. I am an English teacher at a private school. I love my job. I love teaching Literature because I feel like it teaches life lessons that no other subject could possibly teach. No matter what the story in our book, there is always some way to tie it into life right now.

I will be 25 in May...25. That is 5 years away from 30. Now, I am aware that 30 isn't as old as I feel it is right now, but I can't help but think about all the things I used to say I wanted to accomplish before I was 30. 30 seemed so far away that I could do anything I wanted before then. Now that it is a mere 5 years away, I feel like I am off track...like I am behind. Some of the things I wanted to accomplish can't be done in the next 5 years. For instance, I once dreamed of going to Law School. Whereas I know I could get it done before 30, I also want to have family. I can't do both within the next 5 years--I think I would die in the process. I want to get my masters in Literature. If I want to do that, I need to start it...yesterday. I feel like time is ticking, and I am just sitting and watching it tick away.

I don't feel like I have been wasting time. I feel like I have accomplished a lot in my job. I am really comfortable teaching American Literature, and I love the stories, poems, and books we read. But, I just can't seem to feel accomplished enough. Maybe it is just something I have concocted in my head, but I feel like I need to be doing something more. I don't want to stop teaching because I do so love my job, but I feel like I should be doing something along with it--something for me. Take a writing class, a painting class, or a sewing class. I want to study and learn something for me. Something I don't have to turn around and teach to someone else. I want to better myself...educate myself.

Hmm...

BB.