Reflection.

I like to shop. I am not a shop-a-holic or anything, but every once and a while, I like to buy myself something pretty. Used to, when I was single and had my own money, I shopped a lot. I hardly ever had a balance over $50.00 in my checking account. Now that I am married and have other responsibilities--bills, groceries, gas, etc.--I do not shop as often, and I cringe at the thought of spending money. But, that doesn't mean that sometimes I don't get the urge to go on a little spending spree...and when I say spending spree, I mean like maybe $100.00. So, yesterday I treated myself to some new belongings at Old Navy. I like Old Navy because it is reasonable. As a wise person once told me, "There is not one thing in Old Navy that I can't buy." And, I agree. If I wanted to purchase one item in Old Navy, one item that I thought I just couldn't live without wearing, I could. Nothing in the store is too expensive. The better thing about ON though is that I don't have to purchase one thing. I can purchase MANY things without breaking my bank. And, if there is anything that I desperately want, it will be on sale in about a month. So, I bought some items. Some for me, some for others, but mostly for me. Which brings me to the reason I am telling you all of this. In case I haven't mentioned this already, I am going to Nicaragua on Friday. I want to share something I wrote last year while I was in Nicaragua:

..."we all boarded the bus to go to the mud pits. Now, the mud pits are not really what you would think. When I think mud pit, I think mud in hole--possibly from rain. No. This is not correct in the least. The mud pits are places in the earth where the earth water (?) is hot enough to boil the mud. It bubbles bubbles, and there must be sulfur in it because it smells just awful! When we arrived, we were greeted by small children. They were all trying to give us each these little clay pits. These small, young children were our guides around these hot and bubbly mud pits. At the end, they all lined up to get any money we would give them...After leaving the mud pits and driving back toward Leon, I began to think about my life. How remarkably blessed I am. How wasteful I am of money, food, belongings, etc. As we passed house of poor cinderblock and cows, horses, chickens, dogs (all skin and bone), I looked at the wash hanging out to dry in the dust. I thought about our wedding for some reason. When planning out wedding, we (well, I) were so proud to be having a "budget" wedding. The more I pondered this thought, the more disgusted I became with myself. We spent in excess of $10,000 on our wedding. One day. ONE DAY!! These people have close to nothing, and I thought I was doing well to spend less on my wedding than I saw on TV. How misinformed. How selfish..."

Now, this excerpt just makes me remember how blessed and how selfish I am. I justify everything. I feel like I can spend $100.00 on some new things for me when there are people starving and working day in and day out just to survive. I tell you all of this to challenge you. Next time you want to "splurge" and spend what you think is a "reasonable" amount on things you don't need, think about places like Nicaragua. Think about how rich we are and how frivolous. I am going to try to do things better. I am not going to say that I will never shop again because chances are I would break that promise, but I am going to try and keep things in perspective. And, I hope that one day, I can cut out all of my unneeded and unnecessary spending. There are better things I could do with the money I have been blessed with.

BB.